Losing Yourself to Darkness: Why You Must Confront Your Shadow

Losing Yourself to Darkness: Why You Must Confront Your Shadow

Whenever it’s time for me to journey into the underworld and confront my shadow, I have this lucid dream:

I’m lying on the cold ground, my arms and feet tied and bound. I’m wearing my nightgown. I don’t know where I am. 

My first instinct is to struggle, to try to undo the rags around my wrists and kick my feet free, but I know this place. I know I can’t free myself.

The wet grass starts to slowly soak through my nightgown, creating icles of damp on my skin. It chills me to want to take action and scream and run away but I exhale resisting the urge.

I’m in my forest of fears, and the darkness has descended, and now, all I can do is nothing but surrender.

This time it doesn’t take long.

I hear a creak and the snapping of twigs, and I know I’m not alone. He has come, and as he moves closer I know to be thankful for I will be healed. But I’m scared.

The initiation begins.

Embrace the darkness

Being spiritual requires is to regularly confront our shadows and face our deepest fears. The only way you can stay clean and calm is if you make it a habit to journey into the dark terrain within you.

There is nothing wrong with the darkness, and there is nothing to fear about it.

Many people think living a spiritual life is all sunshine, rainbows and angel music. They think it’s about being endlessly patient, always ‘zen’ and eternally even-tempered. But at times the spiritual life can be the absolute opposite.

It can be messy, challenging and chaotic. We can feel angry, impatient and frightened, and when we are confronted by our shadows, the worst of us often comes out…

However if you regularly face your shadow and allow yourself to see and experience the worst of yourself, you will be purified. This happens because when you understand the depths and scope of your own ego more thoroughly, you’re able to transmute your shadow aspects into light aspects.

You’ll be able to create beauty from pain; compassion from loneliness; courage from fear and vitality from sickness.

The key to this is learning to cooperate with the darkness and allow the initiation to take place.

Yes, you will be frightened and you’ll most probably resist it as much as you can – because no ego likes to face the light – but when you have the experience of ‘coming out the other side’ much calmer, much more loving and much more full of creative ideas and wisdom, you will begin to embrace this holy process.

And – after you’ve been doing it for some time you’ll actually begin to rejoice in it.

No, I don’t like feeling being bound and tied but I do understand that when I find myself on the forest floor, it’s time to heal another aspect of my ego.

How to know what is spiritual

A willingness to journey into the underworld and face fear is the only true gauge for a spiritual person.

People often ask me how they can be certain that the teacher, psychic or healer they are working with is spiritual. I always ask them to answer these question:

“Do they work on themselves? Are they willing to look deep into their own darknesses and transform them?”

If so, they are walking the spiritual path. If not. Find someone who is.

A White Light Healing Intensive

When I work on my own shadows, I consciously journey into the underworld to hunt and heal aspects of myself that no longer serve me. When I hunt my shadows and find them, I’m then able to be transform my dark aspects into light.

To do this I undertake a White Light Healing Intensive.

Having the White Light to support this process is phenomenal because the White Light is the ‘ultimate transformer.’ Its job is to transmute our egoic aspects into light!

It is also nurturing.

The White Light heals us gently and carefully, and although I know there is “nothing to fear except fear itself,” the ego can create major resistance. I want this healing to go deep but I don’t want it to be painfully prodding and penetrating. I want depth and joy.

After each White Light Retreat I feel I’ve gained greater insight into myself and healed old, deep and negative patterns. This in turn enables me to be a better Mum, friend, wife, spiritual mentor and teacher.

This is how we share love and light in the world; by keeping ourselves light!

Don’t be afraid to lose yourself to the darkness. If you intend to confront your shadow and heal, you’ll do just that.

in White Light + Love,


P.S Want to learn more about how to confront your shadows? Join me LIVE in London and Germany!

For details on my London Shadow Working Verses Light Working event CLICK HERE.

Or, CLICK HERE to join me for my 3 day Shadow Working workshop in Germany.

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  1. Robert

    Thanks Belinda – Awesome reminder! I agree wholeheartedly. Some of my greatest insights and deepest wisdom has emerged following a prolonged period of the dark night! 🙂 It certainly has the capacity to shake you up and shift things out! Thanks again, cheers, R

  2. Suzi

    This work sounds so cleansing but I don’t know how to confront any issues or fears. I don’t really know what they are and how to do the process, although I would love be free of any and grow spiritually through the experience. Can you offer any tips on this Belinda?

    • Belinda Davidson

      Hi Suzi,

      You’re already doing it because you are working with your chakras and the White Light.

      What you can do to deepen the process, and confront your shadow when it arises it bring ‘laser presence’ to it. That means, to heal the pain or blockage by bringing it into the power of the present moment.

      I know you are a student of SoMM so you’ll be learning all about this in Module 2.

  3.  | 

    You’ve revealed what I’m experiencing now, Belinda – thanks for your eloquent explanation and for sharing! For me, sitting in the shadow feels claustrophobic, yet there’s no where far enough to run. Now, for the first time in my life, the desire to stay – for every moment – is greater than my need to escape. To stay and observe, I guess? It’s a moment-by-moment practice right now, but even in the midst of it, something has shifted. Love your insights and always look forward to them x

  4. Kay

    the intensive i received recently has been the best thing i have ever done for myself EVER . i cannot begin to express how wonderful i feel and the love i hold for myself and for everyone i know is phenomenal. thankyou darling friend you have taught me over the years how to feel incredible about all aspect of my life xxx

    • Belinda Davidson

      Hi Kay,

      Yes the White Light Healing Intensives are amazing and so deeply healing. Very happy that it gave you so much 🙂

  5.  | 

    Yes. The soul can only grow when we can shine light on the dark – so of course we must admit and face the dark to begin with.

    My shadows are many – but I too am finding that with support – both in this world and in the unseen with the White Light and my guides – I am never alone and am always capable of coming through stronger on the other side.

    I also find that tears when they are a true purging of emotion (and not just runaway hysteria) help me physically cleanse, which is why I feel such freedom after a good cry.

    Thank you for your willingness to take you on your journey with you as you strengthen your own spirit and reminds us how we can strengthen our own, Belinda :).

  6.  | 

    I pay a lot of attention to how I feel in every moment. If I am not feeling good about something I know there is something important to be healed there and I pay attention to it and meditate on it. It usually comes into the light and spirit always sends me exactly what I need to heal it. In that moment sometimes it does not feel so good and I just do not want to be in that energy. But I know if I keep going and stop the urge to stuff it up with an addiction, I come out of it feeling brighter and lighter.

  7.  | 

    Belinda, this article has really touched me this morning. Thank you so much- you write so beautifully! xx

    • Belinda Davidson

      Thank you Katie,

      That is very sweet of you.

  8.  | 

    Thank you Belinda, Your post comes at just the right time. There were some fears that just now showed up again and that I thought they were already transformed. But now I am happy.

  9. Stu

    Great article Belinda 🙂 After many years of resisting the darkness I now embrace it (most of the time). This means I spend a week or two working through each chunk rather than many months! Much more manageable, less scary and less disruptive to my joyful life 🙂 Oh life is so much more gracious when I stop resisting!!!

  10. Natasha

    Thanks for this Belinda. I have been struggling with a lot of anger and hurt coming up for me recently and not knowing how to work my way through it. So thanks for your timely reminder that this shadow work is part of the spiritual journey and that there is a different way to be with the darkness. Sometimes when you’re in it and the emotions are strong you forget, unfortunately 😉

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