Whenever it’s time for me to journey into the underworld and confront my shadow, I have this lucid dream:
I’m lying on the cold ground, my arms and feet tied and bound. I’m wearing my nightgown. I don’t know where I am.
My first instinct is to struggle, to try to undo the rags around my wrists and kick my feet free, but I know this place. I know I can’t free myself.
The wet grass starts to slowly soak through my nightgown, creating icles of damp on my skin. It chills me to want to take action and scream and run away but I exhale resisting the urge.
I’m in my forest of fears, and the darkness has descended, and now, all I can do is nothing but surrender.
This time it doesn’t take long.
I hear a creak and the snapping of twigs, and I know I’m not alone. He has come, and as he moves closer I know to be thankful for I will be healed. But I’m scared.
The initiation begins.
Embrace the darkness
Being spiritual requires is to regularly confront our shadows and face our deepest fears. The only way you can stay clean and calm is if you make it a habit to journey into the dark terrain within you.
There is nothing wrong with the darkness, and there is nothing to fear about it.
Many people think living a spiritual life is all sunshine, rainbows and angel music. They think it’s about being endlessly patient, always ‘zen’ and eternally even-tempered. But at times the spiritual life can be the absolute opposite.
It can be messy, challenging and chaotic. We can feel angry, impatient and frightened, and when we are confronted by our shadows, the worst of us often comes out…
However if you regularly face your shadow and allow yourself to see and experience the worst of yourself, you will be purified. This happens because when you understand the depths and scope of your own ego more thoroughly, you’re able to transmute your shadow aspects into light aspects.
You’ll be able to create beauty from pain; compassion from loneliness; courage from fear and vitality from sickness.
The key to this is learning to cooperate with the darkness and allow the initiation to take place.
Yes, you will be frightened and you’ll most probably resist it as much as you can – because no ego likes to face the light – but when you have the experience of ‘coming out the other side’ much calmer, much more loving and much more full of creative ideas and wisdom, you will begin to embrace this holy process.
And – after you’ve been doing it for some time you’ll actually begin to rejoice in it.
No, I don’t like feeling being bound and tied but I do understand that when I find myself on the forest floor, it’s time to heal another aspect of my ego.
How to know what is spiritual
A willingness to journey into the underworld and face fear is the only true gauge for a spiritual person.
People often ask me how they can be certain that the teacher, psychic or healer they are working with is spiritual. I always ask them to answer these question:
“Do they work on themselves? Are they willing to look deep into their own darknesses and transform them?”
If so, they are walking the spiritual path. If not. Find someone who is.
A White Light Healing Intensive
When I work on my own shadows, I consciously journey into the underworld to hunt and heal aspects of myself that no longer serve me. When I hunt my shadows and find them, I’m then able to be transform my dark aspects into light.
To do this I undertake a White Light Healing Intensive.
Having the White Light to support this process is phenomenal because the White Light is the ‘ultimate transformer.’ Its job is to transmute our egoic aspects into light!
It is also nurturing.
The White Light heals us gently and carefully, and although I know there is “nothing to fear except fear itself,” the ego can create major resistance. I want this healing to go deep but I don’t want it to be painfully prodding and penetrating. I want depth and joy.
After each White Light Retreat I feel I’ve gained greater insight into myself and healed old, deep and negative patterns. This in turn enables me to be a better Mum, friend, wife, spiritual mentor and teacher.
This is how we share love and light in the world; by keeping ourselves light!
Don’t be afraid to lose yourself to the darkness. If you intend to confront your shadow and heal, you’ll do just that.
in White Light + Love,
Belinda
P.S Want to learn more about how to confront your shadows? Join me LIVE in London and Germany!
For details on my London Shadow Working Verses Light Working event CLICK HERE.
Or, CLICK HERE to join me for my 3 day Shadow Working workshop in Germany.
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