I was born with one foot in this world and one foot in another, and have spent my entire life learning to come to terms with this and live peacefully.
For whatever reason, I was born extremely psychic and ‘plugged into’ the spiritual side. But, unlike most children, who gradually begin to lose this connection with time, this connection and my abilities grew in strength with every passing year, and growing up like this was scary and confusing.
Now that I’m 36, and have spent many moons getting to know myself, and understanding my inherent talents and abilities, shadow aspects and fears, I’m proud to say that I’m able to, (on most days), make peace with being different. And more times than not, I’m even able to wholly embrace the unique perspective life gives me because I have one foot in both worlds.
But it used to be painful to be different. It used to hurt when people found me intense, too deep and knowing. It used to hurt when people called me fierce, confronting or weird.
I’ve grown accustomed to people not wanting to look me in the eye, or finding my nature and energy penetrating, but back then I craved to be like ‘normal girls’.
I wanted to deal with the day-to-day-ness of what most children and teenagers dealt with. I wanted to worry about who were my friends, how I looked, what I was wearing, who fancied me and who I fancied. But these years were spent suppressing the things I saw about people, fending off ghosts that would appear at night, hours in bed, bent over in agony with stomach pains, and pretending I didn’t dream things about people that came to pass.
I didn’t know I was born an empath, a psychic, a ghost whisperer, a medium, a healer and a shadow hunter. I didn’t know what these things were, or how to cope with the sensitivities of these abilities. I only knew that what was happening to me was scary, and that when I tried to tell other people about it, they simply told me I was weird.
Nowadays I’ve created a life in which living between both worlds is much more comfortable than hard, and is, on most days, joyous. I’m now thriving having one foot in this world, and one foot in another, but it took a long time and many years of searching, longing and introspection to arrive here.
I’ve also learnt how to live with and maximise from my abilities, and I now rejoice in being born an ‘old soul on young shoulders.’ And nowadays, if you tell me I’m too intense or fierce, I simply don’t give a hoot. But I know there are many gifted and gorgeous empaths and psychics in the world that haven’t arrived here yet. And you may be one of them…
I offer my story, this blog series, to you as a gift of healing and hope. I’m an intensely private person, so opening up and speaking candidly about my earlier years won’t be without discomfort. But, back then, if someone had opened up to me and shared their story, I wouldn’t have thought I was crazy-assed and weird. I wouldn’t have been so deeply frightened and confused. It would have given me comfort and reassurance.
And it’s my sincerest wish that sharing my story does this for you.
with love,
Belinda
You are inspirational and beautiful in allowing us to truly ‘see’ you, bravo and thank you!! xxx
Thank you so much for posting this. It mirrors what I’m going through now. I was very psychic/aware as a child but it got overwhelming so I suppressed it. Then as I got older it started coming back again, and I read so many books, met so many awesome teachers, and gained a lot of knowledge. But then I found that the people around me weren’t into learning about similar things so I couldn’t speak freely without creeping anyone out, so I have started to suppress it again in an effort to “fit in.” Even though these “taboo” topics have become so mainstream over the past few years, I still find myself cowering in fear when it comes to openly sharing my personal experiences and what I have learned. Even posting this comment is a big step for me! I’m looking forward to reading the rest of your series.
Good for you, Sylvia, for posting this comment. I’ve also met many spiritual people that are open to psychic phenomena but haven’t had the degree of experiences I had so they couldn’t relate to me. Although they didn’t judge me, it used to make me feel like wanting to embrace and explore this part of myself was ‘egoic’ and not ‘spiritual.’ But I was born so plugged in that I simply couldn’t NOT explore and accept this part of myself. This is my path. I was born psychic for a reason, and it is spiritual and good. xo
There’s something about this year… it’s just time for more of this stuff to come to the surface, isn’t it? I just found myself writing a piece yesterday on how I work with clearing past life issues. Even last year, I NEVER would’ve written that.
I love hearing your personal story because it’s always been the same for me, and I grew up in a very mainstream/vanilla family environment with NO ONE around who could see my sensitivity as anything but a problem.
It’s our time as empaths to be loud and proud! x
Thank you. We need this. I hope parents with special and gifted children let them read this series. It would have made such a difference to me as a child. So many sleepless, terror filled nights not wanting to be alone or in the dark …
x
Yes, I know what sleepless, terror filled night are like, Amanda. God bless your intuitive and empath abilities. The world needs our sensitivities.
Thank you Belinda, for sharing your journey as I feel very blessed that I’m understanding myself more and more and living a great journey from your teachings xxx
Yay! this feels so uplifting and elevating, to talk freely about our experiences.
Thank you for your courage and guidance.
Thank you for sharing Belinda. Far from wierd, you dear soul… are extraordinary! A shining light. Thank you for guiding the way and enhancing the lives of others. Bless you! Xx
Thank you, Clare. Weird is awesome too 🙂
Hi Belinda, thank you so much for sharing this part of your life with us. I used to be very open about my gifts but I’ve spent the last few years putting up walls and hiding it from people because it just hurt too intensely when people found me weird or strange or just plain thought I was lying. I’ve trying to find the courage to break out so reading this blog series will give me a lot of confidence, I think. Thank you.
I know that it feels to be called weird. I’m sending you white light and lots of love to help you break out of your fears and embrace your ‘weird-ness.’ 🙂
Thank you for sharing. It takes time to understand our gifts before we can begin to communicate it to others. I’m 34 and just starting to share and it’s helping me grow more and more. Much love and i look forward to reading more x
Thank you Belinda for being “different” :-). I do not allow myself to connect to the other world yet. I might miss some bravery here… Therefore I’m really grateful for your help by the White Light Channeling and your blog. It encourages me to continue with my efforts.
I hope it is some “compensation” for you to know that you do help people now.
Lots of love
B.