Right here, right now, I am claiming this for myself.
I will be an eccentric old woman, and will love living my life the way I want!
One of the saddest things is how we stop being joyful and expressing ourselves naturally as we grow older.
I love taking my daughter to school and watching the children playing in the yard. There is a flurry and excitement of different activities: children playing handball, tag, hide and seek, whispering to each other, making jokes and friendship braces, and I always take a few moments to soak in the high vibration of their joyfulness.
I love the way children laugh open-mouthed, clutching their bellies. They way they chase each other without a concern of anything else, and sign and dance inhibited, not caring whether they have an audience of not.
I’m enthralled and enraptured by their complete lack of “self.” They neither like nor dislike themselves. They just are one with themselves, and “being” in the moment.
Most of us adults yearn for this…
Wouldn’t it be fabulous if we could meet up and play in the yard too? I would love to play handball, tag, hide and seek, and whisper, joke, laugh, and muck around with friends.
I don’t want to have to do this behind closed doors though, or drunk. (This seems the only way this type of behaviour from adults is acceptable. When it isn’t seen publicly or alcohol induced). I want to do this in a public place so that others can come play too!
But we scorn and make jokes about adults and older people that express themselves. Those snide remarks about “Check out that old dude on the dance floor?” or “She is too old to be wearing that!” and we pity people, especially older people, who step out and let it “hang out,” secretly relived it isn’t us.
What a shame! It is ok to be free to express ourselves when we are kids, but not when we grow up!
When we become women we begin to concern ourselves with “How do I look?” Am I wearing the right clothes? Is my hair right? Do I look silly? Do I look attractive to men? Am I sexy enough? Do I look too fat in this dress?…. and the list of “How do I seem to other people” goes on and one. How exhausting!
I’m tired of all this pressure, and I think it is ridiculous that as we women get older, we are expected to “hide” our bodies and “behave” more.
That is why I’ve decided I will be an eccentric old woman, and if people scorn and laugh at me for being free and expressing myself, I will know that it is their loss because I’ve kept myself intact.
in White Light + Love,
Belinda
