In 2014, I decided that I would largely unplug from the online world.
This meant unsubscribing to mailing lists, giving up the fight against twitter – ‘cause I don’t like it and don’t care what people can say in 140 characters – and unliking many facebook pages. (I do love Facebook though. Just not streams and streams of stuff).
I decided I wanted to have amnesia about the fact that I have an online business and school. I wanted to stop feeling like I needed to hang out in online spaces because I ran an online business.
I had this strange (unfounded) fear that if I wasn’t plugged into the latest “happenings” I would miss out on something and my business would suffer because of it.
My decision to unplug also came about because 2013 dealt me some rude awakenings about the true nature of aspects of the online world. I experienced first-hand how quick people are to fabricate and exaggerate publicly their earnings, successes, qualifications and experience.
It happened to me several times that after only a few “how to develop your intuition” sessions with me, people were claiming on their websites life-long psychic abilities and years of expertise as an intuitive under their belt. This completely shocked me because I knew their claims to be untrue, and I knew they were using this information as a tool to sell their products and services!
What shocked me more though was that when I spoke to some people about it, about the fact that they were claiming things that we both knew to be untrue, they claimed they were “in alignment with themselves” and felt ok about it.
This floored me. “But,” I would say, “I know you have lied about your qualifications and credentials and are doing so to make money. And I know you know this too, so how can you be in alignment with yourself?”
Their answer – “I think it isn’t such a big deal. And anyway, I’m in alignment with myself and living my truth.”
“Whaaatttt!!!”
This really upset me. I couldn’t understand how people could say they were in alignment with themselves and also lie about their qualifications and experience. But when I took that inquiry into my meditation, I started to understand why this was painful for me.
I equate “being in alignment” with being truthful and honest. That’s because I deeply value honesty and truth.
All of my life I’ve been truth telling, which wasn’t always pleasant for people. I’ve had to learn to turn my tactlessness into tactfulness, and my sharp perception into loving perception.
Living and working with someone who can “see into you” – your flaws, your shadows and your secrets – isn’t easy, and I marvel at the way my friends, family and team do this.
I also know I’ve always been polarising – I’m popular with some people because of my truth-telling, straight-shooting Sagittarian nature, and also unpopular with others because of it. So I know that I’m into “truth-telling.”
But whenever I heard or read the term “being in alignment with oneself,” I assumed the person meant they were acting with integrity, honesty and truth. But I’ve come to realise that not all people value honesty and truth the way I do and that not all people mean this when they say “they are in alignment.” This had been a really big life lesson for me.
Nowadays, when I read this statement, I know it can mean an array of things, and doesn’t have to be about honesty or truth. It can mean the person is saying “Heh, I’m being authentic, integral and honest” or it can mean “Heh, I’m doing my best to feel good about myself right now,” or it can mean “I need to do what I need to do to get where I need to go.”
If I get upset because they are using the term “being in alignment with myself,” and I don’t think they are, that’s my issue, not theirs; I needed to stop projecting my meaning onto this term.
When I now read that someone states “they are in alignment” I just see a sentence made up of words. I don’t take it to mean anything, nor do I feel I have something in common with the person. I just let be.
People’s websites and online presence can be a lot like photo-shopped models. We all know those gorgeous models in the magazines are photo-shopped and that women never look like that in real life, so why do we think everything everyone is saying and claiming online is true?
People write their own website content, their own biography pages and they craft their own online images. So when you read someone’s ‘about’ page, keep in mind they wrote it themselves (yes, I wrote mine myself) And sometimes what is written is more fiction than fact.
If you have an online business and are feeling the pressure to “keep up” or are feeling bad because many people online seem so successful and perfect, I invite you to empower yourself to discern fact from fiction and keep it real. For me to awaken to the realisation that “being in alignment” actually means whatever people want it to mean, empowered me to see through the hype of the online world and do my own thing. It gave me a swagger in my step and I started laughing again.
Stay light. Stay real.
in White Light + Love,
Belinda
(Disclaimer – My intention with this blog post was not attack or belittle the online world. I know many amazing individuals that operate online businesses in full integrity and authenticity, and I run an online business which I love and am grateful for. However I think it’s important to be discerning, and realise that when you’re comparing yourself to someone else’s success or experiences or talents, it may be that you are comparing yourself to something that doesn’t exist).
