What Does it Mean to Trust?

What Does it Mean to Trust?

On Monday I launched School of the Modern Mystic for 2014, and opened the doors of our online school for registration.

This was a monstrous feat.

If you’ve ever written, produced and launched a course, you’ll know what I’m talking about; many, many early mornings and late nights of cramming, conceptualising and hard work.

And then, finally…. time for registration begins. And you open your (virtual) doors and show people the very best of what you and your team has put together.

What you have worked on for months, thrown your soul into and fused with your life-blood…

And then you wait, hope and pray that people will “jive” with what you offer, so that it all “pays off.” So that you can, at least, make enough money to pay back the thousands of dollars you’ve invested into the course.

Not including the many hundreds of hours of work you’ve spent on creating it.

You hope that “it will all turn out right in the end,” and you trust and believe that enough people will buy your course so that you can cover your costs and hopefully make money from it too.

Does this sound familiar?

Walking in the forest yesterday, I was having a moment of “wobbly faith.”

My mind was calculating the sales I had made on the course already, the amount I would probably make this year, divided by the amount of money I’ve spent to produce the course. (A six month course is comprised of hundreds of hours of video and learning resources, so no small or cheap feat!)

Although we have already had many people sign up to our Level 1 course, I was worried it wasn’t going to be enough and that I’d have to work harder this year.

I also feel very new to the “online world” – I’ve been teaching the Level 1 and 2 courses for many years now but this year is the second time to offer Level 1 online – and although the feedback from last year’s online Level 1 course was thrilling because so many people loved it, I was feeling worried that I had “bitten off more than I could chew.”

These were the thoughts swimming around my head:

“Was it financially liable to offer 6 month courses? “Would I always have to spend hundreds of hours of work recording and producing these courses?”

“What if enough people don’t buy my course this year? Where does that leave me?”

“Are my standards too high? Do I put in too much work because I want to give people the VERY best I can offer?”

“I’m passionate about making spiritual real for people but will it always be so much work for me?”

And then I had the thought, “Don’t worry, Belinda, it will work out in the end. Have the faith!”

For a moment this thought was a comfort to me, but then, suddenly, I realised the falsity in it.

I realised I was pinning my faith and hopes on a future date; on a time and place where I could rest assured because enough people had bought my course.

This was projecting into the future, and I can’t gain security or stability from a time or place that don’t exist. I can’t operate under the illusion of “everything will work out in the end” because all we have is THIS moment, NOW.

In that state of being connected with the NOW, I understood, that ultimately, I cannot control what other people do.

I can keep my vibrations raised, and by keeping my energy open, positive and clear it is highly likely that things work in my favour, but even then, we don’t have ultimate control over life.

In the moment that I realised that I cannot control whether people decide to join my school and purchase my course, I was engulfed by a wave of peace.

I can’t worry or strive to get people to love what I do because I can’t influence that.

All I can do is make the very best course I possibly can and show up to serve those gorgeous souls that have raised their hands and said, Belinda, yes, I want to come on the journey with you!

Although my accountant and business mentors tell me I need to keep an eye on what I’m spending on the course and what I’m making, I’m deciding to ignore that advice.

I don’t want aspects of my life and business to feel like a “numbers game;” to feel like I must reach certain targets or goals otherwise I’II fail.

So, I’m letting go and letting God, and I’m trusting that this moment, the NOW, provides for me, so that I can continue to provide for others.

This is my true place of power and comfort!

Thank you for your support and love.

in White Light + Love,

Belinda

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