The word that spiritual women can’t say.
They call it everything else: abundance, prosperity, wealth creation, manifesting, thriving.
But they can’t say the “m” word.
They’ll sit on their meditation cushions and religiously pray for prosperity. They’ll write, “I am abundant,” in their journals. They’ll stick pictures of beautiful houses, bodies, bestselling books, or whatever they want to manifest on their vision boards. And they’ll read and listen to everything they can get their hands on about thriving, instead of just surviving …
All the while avoiding the actual word like the plague.
They can’t bring themselves to say: “Heh Universe, I want money!”
When Did Money Become A Dirty Word?
I’ve thought about this a ton over the years. And after much pondering, I think I might have figured it out.
I’m pretty sure it’s a combo of these factors:
a) Mindfulness and meditation teaches us the practice of non-attachment. Attachment to worldly things (material possessions, status, external appearance, people, and so on) ultimately leads to suffering. Spiritual people believe they need to relinquish the need for money and worldly possessions to be walking the true spiritual path.
b) Self-help teaches us that we can better our lives by changing our thoughts. Want a better life? You can think it into being. Want more money? Do affirmations for it! (But wait! Doesn’t mindfulness tell us to relinquish the need for money and worldly possessions?!)
c) Women (in general) find it more difficult to straight-talk when it comes to money and finances. They feel bad or uncomfortable about having these types of conversations. I believe the reason for this is cultural and historical. They skirt around the issue (no pun intended on the word skirt).
d) With the rising of the sacred feminine in spiritual circles, new ways of talking about money were adopted that felt less harsh to a lot of women … The idea of talking about $$$ or cold hard cash felt too masculine, perhaps for some women like boys’ club talk. That’s why other words came in to replace it.
e) It’s hip to use phrases like wealth creation, thriving, manifesting, abundance, prosperity. It’s “spiritual talk.” I personally think it confuses a lot of people, but it’s spiritual swagger, nonetheless.
f) Spirituality is largely still quite conservative. A “spiritual person” isn’t supposed to be rich, eccentric, extroverted, outlandish, or in any way “out of the box.” They should be humble, virtuous, poor—Christ or Buddha like. A spiritual person who’s wealthy is usually deemed fraudulent, shady, or disingenuous.
Take all of the aforementioned, put them together, and this is the spiritual stew we’re swimming in.
No wonder we have issues with money!
We’re So Darn Confused
We’re so confused by all of it that we have no idea how to feel about it.
That’s why:
a) We don’t even call it money.
b) We don’t know whether we should be asking for money, or renouncing it.
c) We usually have zero – minimal skills in actually being good with money in a real way in the real world. (Because self-help and spiritual books don’t teach you accounting and money management 101.)
Confusion & Guilt
We’re not only confused about how to feel about money, we’re also ashamed.
Ashamed to admit we want it. Ashamed to admit we don’t know how to use it. Ashamed to admit that all of our spiritual practices around it (affirmations, vision boarding, etc.) really haven’t lead anywhere.
Ashamed to admit we usually don’t have any proper skills in money and in money management.
Ashamed sometimes, too, that our husband or significant other handles that “sides of things,” and that we have no clue what’s going on in one of the most important areas of our lives.
Money Is A Huge Player In The Abundance Game
Try every which way you want in the labyrinth of the abundance maze, but it seems money is the major player. It’s what will navigate you through, and safely get you to the other side.
We live in a world in which to live well (have a roof over your head, pay your bills, look after yourself and your family, be healthy, happy, creative, and have time for yourself and your hobbies) you need money.
And a good amount of it.
I don’t believe you need copious amounts of it. (I’m not interested in becoming a billionaire who runs some massive company, vacations by sailing around the world, spends my free time working on my tan, painting my toenails, while being served caviar out of a 24-carat gold, diamond crusted dish. I have pale skin and vertigo. Burning and barfing here we come.)
But I strongly believe you need to know how to make good money, understand how it works, and use it in the real world in a real and sensible way.
This starts with being able to speak about it.
To say the “m” word.
To say the word money.
Before You Get Your Knickers In A Knot
… and say, “But Belinda, you’re only focusing on money. Abundance and prosperity is so much more than just money. It’s support, love, exchanges, gratitude, friendships, and so on.”
Let me stop you right there and say, I agree.
It is.
But in my experience the people that often counter me with this argument are they ones who try to barter me on my services and prices. Try to get a discount, or “exchange” with me something that I don’t want. I’ve been offered everything from unicorn readings, to chakra beads, to house clearings, to lifting curses. (Yeah, thanks for the last one.)
Usually they don’t have the money, so they pull the abundance card to try to get what they want.
If I were to say yes (I always say no), this would lead to blurred lines and boundaries.
If it were a long-term agreement, most probably it would end up as a nasty and costly fall-out, with massive amounts of time and energy wasted.
Having money and knowing how to use it cleverly and how to spend and invest it wisely, is the clearest and most powerful way I know of to being abundant.
My Family’s Scare
You may (or may not) know that I got very, very sick in August of 2018.
I suddenly started having massive seizures, vertigo, and migraines, and spent time in and out of emergency. For months and months, I was bed-ridden, and for large chunks of the time, paralysed. My husband had to shower me, carry me, walk me, feed me, etc.
He was my carer, 24/7, with my mum stepping in at times to relieve him of his shifts.
I was sick and scared, and we were all terrified. No-one had any idea what was wrong with me. (I knew there was something wrong with my brain. I could psychically see this, but was too sick at first to be able to do anything about it.)
It wasn’t until I got a bit better—months and months later—and paid for expensive brain testing, that we finally discovered what was wrong with my brain and we’re able to start some sort of plan to get me better …
I am the bread winner in my household. It’s my job to bring home the bacon. So when I went down in a screaming heap, no money was coming in.
Of course, though, there were still bills to pay. More now than ever before, because getting sick ain’t cheap!
We were hemorrhaging money.
(Also my income protection insurance refused to pay out. Looooong story.)
But, I’d planned for this.
Not for getting this sick (I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy), but for the case when life throws you curve ball. Because life always does.
I Had The Money
The reason that I am here right now having this conversation with you (and not dead, or in some hospital somewhere drugged up and incapacitated) is largely because I had money.
Money to pay for expensive medical and brain testing and treatment. Money to afford for my husband not to have to seek employment (so he could care for me). Money to afford someone to come and help us out and cook and clean the house and do the laundry.
Money to pay to seek help for my PTSD. Money to pay for vitamins, minerals, and supplements. To pay for neurofeedback. To pay for rehabilitation therapy. For my dog to go to doggie daycare because him jumping around caused me seizures …
And it’s not because I’m super wealthy. I’m not a millionaire.
It’s because I’m smart with my money.
I budgeted for the time when all hell could break loose.
Bad Things Can Happen At Any Moment
This isn’t being pessimistic.
It’s being real.
If I weren’t good with money, I’d hate to think where I’d be right now.
Maybe I wouldn’t be dead. Maybe I wouldn’t be incapacitated.
But maybe my marriage would be over because we couldn’t take the financial strain? Maybe I’d still be unable to walk or read or write, and would be stuck all day in a room, miserable and heartbroken, unable to have a life and be a mother to my daughter and a friend and lover to my husband?
I certainly wouldn’t be working on my second book, exercising twice a day, giving Facebook Lives, planning upcoming speaking events, going to the theater with my daughter, going for walks with my husband, and hanging out with my bestie every Sunday.
I shudder to think where I’d be if I didn’t have the money and the possibilities and time it afforded me to get well.
All the terrible ways it could have gone if I hadn’t saved for that rainy day.
It Breaks My Heart How Much Suffering Comes Down To Money
I saw it too many times in my work as a medical intuitive.
Parents not able to afford expensive medicines or medical procedures to save their child’s life.
Beautiful people breaking up because their relationships couldn’t withstand the stress and strain of money troubles.
Single parents burning out and having breakdowns because they were working 3 jobs to pay the bills (and couldn’t stop working, although they desperately needed to).
Women staying in abusive marriages because they didn’t know how to make ends meet if they left.
The list goes on and on and on …
I Believe A Spiritual Life Is One Of Peace & Plenty
There is nothing spiritual about being broke and stressed.
Poverty doesn’t pay, ever.
Even if you practice non-attachment (which I do), you still need to be real about money.
Money matters. Period.
You need it.
Big time.
Needing money to bolster your ego isn’t spiritual. Needing it to show off, to enhance your self-worth, to make people think you’re powerful, superior, or better than others is egocentric.
That isn’t spiritual.
However … Saying You’re Spiritual & That Money Doesn’t Matter, Is Like Saying You Don’t Need Air to Breathe
You need to breathe air to keep your human body alive.
You need to have money to keep your human life alive.
No shame in that. It’s just a fact of life. Like gravity, or where babies come from, or how many days the earth orbits around the sun.
But If You’re Still Feeling Ashamed, Overwhelmed, Scared …
… conflicted, or just downright confused about money and all of it, don’t worry.
I’ve got your back!
Over the next days, I’II be sending out a series of emails in which I’II help you sort out any money issues you might have.
I’II help you:
— Overcome your resistance to money
— Tackle your money blockages
— Overcome your money blockages
— Learn to get grounded in the world of money, so you can start to make good money, use it wisely, and create wealth for you and your family.
Because there’s nothing unspiritual about money.
Here’s to money!
with love,
Belinda
P.S. Feeling the cringe that a spiritual person like me is talking about money and wealth? Good! You’ve definitely got some money blockages. In the next blog in the series I talk about how mentoring millionaires (and some multi-millionaires) totally challenged my beliefs about money and wealth. (Turns out rich people aren’t all crooks after all. Actually, they’re some of the most kind and generous people on the planet.) Click here to read now!
