I was born with one foot in this world and one foot in another, and have spent my entire life learning to come to terms with this and live peacefully.
For whatever reason, I was born extremely psychic and ‘plugged into’ the spiritual side. But, unlike most children, who gradually begin to lose this connection with time, this connection and my abilities grew in strength with every passing year, and growing up like this was scary and confusing.
Now that I’m 36, and have spent many moons getting to know myself, and understanding my inherent talents and abilities, shadow aspects and fears, I’m proud to say that I’m able to, (on most days), make peace with being different. And more times than not, I’m even able to wholly embrace the unique perspective life gives me because I have one foot in both worlds.
But it used to be painful to be different. It used to hurt when people found me intense, too deep and knowing. It used to hurt when people called me fierce, confronting or weird.
I’ve grown accustomed to people not wanting to look me in the eye, or finding my nature and energy penetrating, but back then I craved to be like ‘normal girls’.
I wanted to deal with the day-to-day-ness of what most children and teenagers dealt with. I wanted to worry about who were my friends, how I looked, what I was wearing, who fancied me and who I fancied. But these years were spent suppressing the things I saw about people, fending off ghosts that would appear at night, hours in bed, bent over in agony with stomach pains, and pretending I didn’t dream things about people that came to pass.
I didn’t know I was born an empath, a psychic, a ghost whisperer, a medium, a healer and a shadow hunter. I didn’t know what these things were, or how to cope with the sensitivities of these abilities. I only knew that what was happening to me was scary, and that when I tried to tell other people about it, they simply told me I was weird.
Nowadays I’ve created a life in which living between both worlds is much more comfortable than hard, and is, on most days, joyous. I’m now thriving having one foot in this world, and one foot in another, but it took a long time and many years of searching, longing and introspection to arrive here.
I’ve also learnt how to live with and maximise from my abilities, and I now rejoice in being born an ‘old soul on young shoulders.’ And nowadays, if you tell me I’m too intense or fierce, I simply don’t give a hoot. But I know there are many gifted and gorgeous empaths and psychics in the world that haven’t arrived here yet. And you may be one of them…
I offer my story, this blog series, to you as a gift of healing and hope. I’m an intensely private person, so opening up and speaking candidly about my earlier years won’t be without discomfort. But, back then, if someone had opened up to me and shared their story, I wouldn’t have thought I was crazy-assed and weird. I wouldn’t have been so deeply frightened and confused. It would have given me comfort and reassurance.
And it’s my sincerest wish that sharing my story does this for you.
with love,
Belinda
Belinda,
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I feel very drawn to you without really knowing why. Maybe it is because you describe yourself as a down to earth Sagittarian and seem to have to be brave to speak out more about your life-time of experiences. I have always been sensitive in the sense that I feel and know others, seeing their need for healing as the reason why their behaviours are not always great and therefore developing compassion from a young age. I have struggled all my life with self worth issues, though and feeling different. I don’t feel particularly psychic or in touch with another world, but I have struggled to fully be myself in this one and speak the love and compassion that I truly feel. I have been told that I am wet and need to learn boundaries. I do, but I am not wet! I sense a whole picture about someone and don’t want to close my eyes to it. I would like to step into my power and live my truth as I know it to be without fear, so lots of what you said sounded familiar to me about your own self doubts in the past and – mostly – being empowered and comfortable with who you are now, and able to give because of that. I leave a jumbled path behind me but I am going to get to that place, with healthy self-esteem and boundaries.
I am a bit older than you, Belinda, but you speak to me because you come across as intelligent and genuine.
Sending love,
Kate
Inspiring, raw, real and so you. I adore you Bella. Thank you for being here in this world whilst I am alive.
Felt this post deeply in my soul.
Big big white light love
Nic
Thank you Nicole. I’m honoured. xo
Really looking forward to your upcoming blogs Belinda – I have been intermittently connecting with your site when the content has called me. I too feel and interact with the many layers of energy that infinitely exist within this universe. In my earlier years I spent a lot of time living too large in the ether where I was not of my body, then went the reverse where I was way to grounded and overcompensating to hold down my astral nature. Happily I have found the balance via the intense journey of wading through psychic phenomenon both positive and negative. Sometimes clear on what it ‘meant’ other times completely no idea and understanding that was ok too! I found that by connecting to the angelic realm and the all encompassing loving radiant energy I was able to encompass all of me, and in doing so my energy structure aligned and now holds space for both the human and spirit experience. So what I love about your openness in sharing your story and the building of your school is that it unites and validates the experiences of us lighties, and that it doesn’t need to be a solo undertaking and we are not crazy 🙂 Thankyou for generously giving yourself in light and love. xx Shannon
Yes, Shannon, this happened for me too! When I aligned myself with the white light and the white light angels, and regularly worked on my energy field and chakras, I was able to much more easily inhabit both worlds. Love your fellow ‘lightie.’
Hey Belinda – I am always deeply thrilled and utterly impressed when empowered, strong people – women or men – can stand up and be a voice on matters that many ignore or dismiss. I appreciate your authenticity and admire such willingness to be vulnerable… Feels liberating to read such words for there are many of us who have been on the path of self-acceptance and self-love for some time such that hearing from someone like you who has come so far and has embodied and integrated that love becomes tremendously enlivening! Thank you!
Thank you, Robert. Yes, we all need to remind ourselves to love and accept ourselves everyday. White Light blessings to you!
Thank you for sharing, Belinda. I, too, wish there would have been someone to tell me back when I was younger and was starting to show my abilities what they were and how to deal with them. Instead, I shut down my psychic/intuitive abilities and became very, very sick.
It’s taken me many years to get my health back, but I’m working on it as well as working on letting my natural emphatic and intuitive abilities shine. My daughter has many of these special gifts, and I am so glad I know about them and am here for her so that I can help her navigate both her abilities and living in a world where those abilities are still considered new and different.
I don’t think you are fierce and intense but light and lovely
Kaz
Amazing story , glad you’ve come into your own and all is well. Love hearing about these experiences as I’ve always felt these things to be real.
I’m very happy for you. Looking forward to reading your blogs
What’s a Shadow Hunter? It reminds me of something I’ve experienced, but I’ve never heard this terminology with respect to psychic/mediums before. This was interesting, curious to know more. 🙂 Hope everyone is well!
Thank you Belinda. This is really interesting and consoling to me. As I read and think about your experiences and and my own work on myself and my life and seeking that peace and ease you describe, It makes me wonder what I’ve also been suppressing. Thank you – I look forward to the white light healing and hearing my soul.